(Excerpt from ‘The Two of Us’, SMH Good Weekend, September 28, 2023)
Nicole:
“I happened to walk past Jacqui’s desk not long after we both started working at SSI [Settlement Services International]. I’d never spoken to her, but my spirit told me: “This woman will walk with you forever.” I went over and said, “You’re probably going to think I’m mad, but you and me? We’re going to be mates and walk together forever.” She was very polite and said, “Oh, okay then.”
She started to invite me to her training sessions. We got talking and realised we were both women who wanted to advocate for human rights. That was how the friendship began.
We’re very different in many ways, but she’s the other half of me. My family have been [born-again, charismatic] Christians forever. I was taught that we were to love Israel, to pray for Israel, because we believed we served the god of Israel. You’d probably call me a Zionist Christian. Then I met this beautiful Jewish woman, but I think I know more about Judaism than she does. She says things like, “I didn’t realise there were so many Jewish organisations until I met you, Nicky.” And we don’t agree on Israel.
I’m from the Gomeroi nation [in north-west NSW], so we’re real mountain people. Jacqui has to go to the beach every day and when we’re staying somewhere near water, she keeps saying, “You have to come down!” And I just say, “Yeah, nuh.” My totems are all land animals!
Her parents were Jewish refugees, about four or five years old when they came to Australia from Germany with their parents. She has talked about the struggles around that and how it shaped her parents’ lives. She often talks about how alone she felt as a little girl.
What I see in her now is this incredible passion and commitment to creating an extended family for her children. Jacqui’s in her second marriage, but when you go to Shabbat dinners at her place, her first husband and his partner and children are all there, everybody’s there.
I don’t call her my friend any more; I say she’s my sister. You know a friendship has turned into a sisterhood when the other woman will put her own life on the line for you, and Jacqui has done that for me a thousand times. I would do it for her, too.”
Jacqui:
“For me, the friendship I share with Nicole transcends any barriers. On the surface our connection was serendipitous, and although Nicole and I have our own versions as to why our connection came to light, we agree that our close friendship is based on a deep desire to collaborate and make a difference by educating non-Indigenous Australia on how to walk together with our Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander brothers and sisters. We have forged a bond built on mutual respect, trust, and a shared vision for a more inclusive and equitable world.
First and foremost, my relationship with Nic is a true friendship. Essentially, we are two women who met at a work place a few years ago. We share common values, particularly community, family, mothering, and grand mothering. We continually laugh and cry together and we are never short of conversation. However, our relationship is engulfed by circumstances. Circumstances that are bound by educating and motivating others through the Walking Together Project that Nic and I co-founded several years ago before we knew the referendum would be “a thing”. Circumstances that provide both of us the opportunity to walk together as we find the heart of this nation.
Joyously, as we spend so much time together our friendship has grown. I guard it closely and I continually reflect on its significance. It is quite different to other friendships as we consciously learn from each other and share culture on a foundation of deep mutual respect for what we both bring to the table – from everyday hardships, our past experiences, approaches to life, our families as well as our skills and talents.
I have come to realise that from when Nic and I first birthed the Walking Together Project, my unconscious and unspoken resolve was a pledge to myself: “Where you go, I will go, and where you stay, I will stay,” just as Ruth pledged to Naomi (little did I know that would include an array of hotels, and Airbnb’s around the country)!
Nicole has dedicated herself to uplifting and empowering indigenous communities. She has become a guiding light for not just me but those around her, advocating for cultural preservation, social justice, and educational opportunities.
Nicole’s commitment to her people is not just a profession; it is a calling deeply ingrained within her heart. She has dedicated countless hours to bridging the gap between indigenous and non-indigenous Australians, fostering cross-cultural understanding and reconciliation. Through her tireless efforts, she has demonstrated the transformative power of unity and the importance of walking together on the path to healing and harmony. And I am blessed to walk with her on that path as we work to take others with us.”